I know a lot of people like to go back home. I am one of them. I think because I hadn't spent the weekend at my parents house in months (they live about 1.5 hours away), that I felt the need to go. I had to have the kids skip a neighbor's birthday party, where I know they would have had a blast, but sometimes you just get to a point where it's like, "We just have to give up something and go." Historically, I've tried to visit my parents once a month until the summer when beach traffic just gets to be too horrendous (turning a 1.5 hour trip into 3). So when it's been a few months without a weekend visit, it feels like forever.
Being at my parents house meant I could take advantage of beautiful scenery. I went on a run in an area near my sister's house and I loved it. I liked the water growing up, but now I love it. I love the scenery and at first I wasn't going to stop and take pictures, but then I reminded myself that I wasn't actually running a race and that I could pause my nike app to take the pics, so that's what I did. I feel so centered being by water. It's a feeling I started to recognize when my husband and I went to visit Oxford, MD one weekend. Like a lot of runners, I think of a gillion things...one of them was about some brutal feedback I received and how it made me want to cry and that I didn't feel like I was good enough. Towards the end of my run, I basically told myself that I am good enough and thought of a cute little design to get tattooed as a reminder of that. Since I'm not that committed to a lifetime design on my body, maybe I'll just commission someone to make me a temporary tattoo. Since I learned about Fellow Flowers earlier this year, I've been trying to think about what my Declare It! Goal would be. And I think I finally settled on it...to believe I am enough (& to run 750 miles this year)!
I think running by the water or pretty scenery helps me think through things. For this particular situation I was working through, I just didn't have a good day. But am I any different than what I felt like the day before when I was content and happy? No. So I didn't float some people's boat. It happens. I am not perfect (as hard as I try). I also think about some advice my dad gave me about 10 years ago when I was studying for a career-defining test after thinking that I didn't do well on the first part. He basically said that that I could sit there and wallow or I could do something about it. He asked what I could do and then told me to do it. It really is one of the best pieces of advice I've received. I also thought about my long term goals. Am I willing to let this one failure set me back? Not at all. I totally have that "I'll show you" attitude. So that's what I resolved to do. While some thoughts I set aside for later, others like this one, I try to resolve while running. And sometimes (most times), I just listen to music. For someone who is analytical, sometimes it's nice just not to think.
So anywho, after enjoying a morning run, I came back to my parents' house and just enjoyed coffee and spending time chatting with them. My grandfather and aunt came up and we had a nice little lunch. Then my great aunts and uncle came over and I enjoyed the visit with them. But there were two things I really enjoyed; playing in the bounce house with the kids (I think I was pushing the weight limits of the bounce house). My dad also replaced a swing that could accommodate adults up to 300 lbs (yay! no worrying that I'll break the kids swing). I absolutely love swinging! I feel free and feel like a kid again. I think that's one reason why I feel so centered when I come home. I let go of the traffic, the feel of constantly worrying about the time, thinking about everything I have on my to-do list, and I just am. I sometimes joke with my friends that I'm like a 13 year old girl because I laugh (and snort) at innappropriate jokes. And maybe coming back home makes me feel like a 13 year old too, without all of the worries of the world, but with perspective. I get to be a big kid and play with my two awesome kiddos and enjoy time with my parents. Life is good and I am enough.